Why Ninja Shouldn't Drink
by SaezuruKeisei
Summary: Bored underage ninja's plus a day off plus alcohol can only equal trouble. Warnings for underage drunken behavior, Yaoi and Yuri. any and all flumes will be used to make fuel for more of my fan fictions so really your only hurting yourselves : please review.


*Disclaimer: I own nothing and make no money from the twisted way mind little British mind works.*

Chapter one – And so it begins

It had been a long time since all of the Genin Teams had been in the village with a day off at the same time; mostly this was due to the fact that their various Sensei had planned it this way so that any trouble they would inevitably get themselves into could be avoided.

It was hot and humid and most of the population of Konaha where inside with fans and cool drinks of lemonade and other such comforts, oh how Sasuke wished he was one of them. Instead he was hot and sticky and being dragged by his pink haired team mate towards a clearing on one of the wooded areas of the village.

He had tried to say no, well actually he had said no a great many times but Sakura Haruno was not a woman to take no for an answer and indeed appeared to have selective deafness for the word entirely as she dragged him out of his house with the threat of sending Naruto round to persuade him if he didn't come with her.

As they approached the shade of the trees Sasuke caught all the others waiting around for the two remaining members of team seven, including to his horror a very bouncy Naruto with a huge grin…this could only mean he had ingested sugar.

"Sasuke, temae! Why the hell did you take so long?!" he shouted about three inches from the Uchiha's ear when they made it under the less intense heat of the shade. Sasuke as normal ignored him and leaned away from the blonde annoyance.

Before Naruto could launch into a rant about being ignored Lee jumped in with the question that everyone had been waiting to ask. "So…what are gonna do today?" This caused him to have to drop his initial train of thought and start a new one.

"I have an idea," said Kiba from the lower branches of the tree he was lounging in, "Let's get drunk."

It took a few moments for that to register, most of the group knew that the idea was not the greatest and was full of a few huge gaping holes but some of the more simple minded and direct members thought the idea was wonderful.

"Oh yeah!" Naruto punched the air, "That sounds like a great plan!" General chatter amongst the group started up as people considered and turned the idea over with each other.

Neji leaned against a tree and sighed, he was one of the only people who could make a sigh carry across whole conversations, it silenced the quiet deliberations and everyone turned to him with questioning eyes or in Naruto's case a glare.

It was amazing that no matter where he was or indeed what he was doing, Neji always found something to lean up against while he spouted his normally well thought out derision at people's ideas. It just made him look good and accentuated his sarcasm, which unfortunately was something Naruto didn't pick up on very easily.

"I think I will start with the first reason this plan will never work. We are far below the age of twenty one and we live in a ninja village. No amount of Jutsu is going to convince the off licences that we are adults. Secondly with the amount of us that there are how are we going to transport enough alcohol to get all of us drunk? And thirdly where the hell are we going to be able to get drunk in this village without someone finding us out? I for one really don't like the idea of my Uncle discovering I god slaughtered on illegally bought alcohol and thinking up some kind of interesting punishment for me."

This did indeed give pause to the plan of how in the hell they were going to accomplish the plan in the first place. Shikamaru had been listening in all the while despite his usual pass time of watching the clouds sail by through a larger break in the leaf canopy above him. Being a first rate lazy ass he was trying hard not to get involved despite already having come up with answers to two of the questions already without any effort at all. He lay there however and kept them to himself hoping not to be noticed.

His hope however was dashed when Ino's sandaled foot connected with his own with painful force. "Come on Shikamaru! You're a strategist! Start Strategizing!"

It was pointless in trying to resist the blondes order, unless he wanted his other foot booted like the first one had been. He didn't really want to get drunk but it seemed he didn't have much of a choice but to go with the flow, like the clouds he so loved to watch. Picking himself up off the leafy, grassy ground he carefully stepped out of Ino's kicking range and outlined what he had so far.

"The place is pretty easy if you think about it," he said in his normal bored tone," the Forrest of Death is quiet and there is no training there today. If we all went to one of our homes we would no doubt get caught even if we live alone. As for transportation I'm pretty sure the more adept of us could summon something large enough to carry the quantity we would need."

Even Neji with all his sarcastic skills couldn't find a hole in which to burry a pic in those two comments, and so he dived for the obvious and rather more important question that was getting in the way of underage drunkenness.

"But we still have no way of getting hold of the Alcohol." He pointed out.

Even the Nara with all his stargazing couldn't come up with a decent plan to gain the formidable liquid and so everyone once again was sat around in silence thinking about the best way to buy a substance they were still far too young to drink.

That was when Lee stood up suddenly, right hand extended in his nice guy pose teeth somehow managing to glint even in the shade. "I have a cunning plan…"

x x x x

Ten minutes and a couple of Jutsu later found identical copies of Gai and Kakashi standing outside a closed off licence facing each other like deadly foes. Or at least that was what the villagers saw, what they should in fact have been seeing was Lee and Sasuke facing off against each other under the Henshin's.

"Eternal Rival I challenge you!" cried the Gai-a-like striking the nice guy pose and waiting dramatically for his drama partner to react.

"Hn." Came an apathetic replay as the Kakashi-a-like folded a random book and put it away in his hip pouch and waited for his next line.

While the rather badly acted drama was being played out on the street, behind the off licence, made deadly quiet by the lack of people (Konaha civilians never passed up the chance to watch Gai and Kakashi going at it, mostly due to the entertainment value and a little to do with the fact a bet was never far behind) Neji was passing bottles on bottles of alcohol out of a top window.

Each bottle was being handed to a clone of Naruto who was stuffing them up his top and taking off in different directions making their way to the rendezvous in the Forrest of Death, where the others were already waiting.

Out on the street the "challenge" was progressing at a fair pace until by the universal law of Sod the real Kakashi and Gai walked down the end of the street and where for some time dumbfounded as to how they were managing to be in two places at once without their knowledge.

It was only when the Gai-a-like noticed his real life double that the two actors realised the gig was up and it was about time to start running. The signal sounded to alert the two at the back of the shop and the Lee and Sasuke bolted for it with all the speed they had. Had the two Sensei not still been slightly dumbfounded at the scene before them they may well have been able to chase after both of their doppelgangers , as it was they snapped out of it a little too late and both darted after the Gai-a-like.

Behind the shop Neji was just slipping over the roof top after leaving some money just inside the still open window as the workers of the village filled back to their daily lives a little put out at the lack of entertainment this time.

x x x x

Inside the Forrest of Death about twenty minutes later the gennin's minus Lee, who had still not returned from being chased by the real Kakashi and Gai, where looking down at thirty five large bottles of Sake, while Neji placed several sets of Sake cups, pilfered from his uncle, out for them to use.

Now that they had managed to get the Alcohol they were at a bit of a loss as to how to feel about what they were about to do. For most of them the fact they would succeed in getting hold of the stuff hadn't occurred to them, thinking that the challenge would prove too hard and that they would move onto another endeavour when they failed.

"Well we all better sit down then, in a circle." Kiba said thinking back to things he had seen when his mother had friends round and the Sake made an appearance. Everyone complied sitting cross legged in a circle and waited for the next instruction.

Pouring half the Liquid of one of the bottles into the cups they handed them round the circle and sat there looking down into the clear warm liquid a bit uncertainly. Kiba remembered something and announced to the others.

"There was a game I remember people playing with Sake…it's called 'I've never'. We all take it in turn to tell everyone something you have never done before and if you personally HAVE done it you have to take a drink."

There was general muttering along the lines of "that's sounds fun" and "ok I get it". When silence fell it seemed to be up to the 'expert' Kiba again to start them off. Thinking hard about something he had never done, and the list seemed to him to be quite short, he finally announced.

"I have never willingly taken a bath." Everyone looked at the sake in their cups and downed it in one eyes tight shut and a few seconds later there was coughing and spluttering from a few as the warm burning sensation flowed down their throats.

"This stuff is foul!" Sakura bawled dropping the cup to the leafy ground and pushing it away from her in disgust. Many other people where following suit with similar comments of distain but as always the knuckle head ninja yelled over the top of the hubbub.

"Oi! We went to all this trouble to get the stinking stuff! Just coz we don't like the taste doesn't mean we can't still get drunk. I for one don't want to waste my money and stuff we are not even going to drink!"

There was silence while the rest of the group also considered how much money they would literally be pouring away if the decided not to finish what they started. Cups where picked back up and sake flowed once more as the rest of the first bottle was waiting for the next round of Kiba's game.

Hinata was the next in line for the game and sat there "uming" and "ahing" for a few minutes before timidly admitting "I've never Rebelled against my parents."

It was surprising to see that some of the louder mouthed among them did not have to take a drink of the sake. Naruto and Sasuke both had to take a drink, Sasuke because as a child he had done rebel things against his parents and Naruto because he didn't have any parents that he could remember but was pretty sure that if he did, some of the stuff he was guilty of would be classed as rebellion.

Shino, Neji and Ino also had to take a dose of sake. It appeared that the nasty tasting alcohol was not as bad the second time round and not one of them coughed or spluttered of the burning liquid only reached out and refilled the small cups they were drinking from.

TBC


End file.
